hoi hoi

December202009

“It’s “Pocahontas”. In the future. On another planet.”

Nick, my cousin, after watching Avatar.

My family is hard to impress.

(via stayforthecredits)

My buddy Pete said it’s more like Fern Gully, which is about spot on.

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1PM

AVATAR = THUMBS UP

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10AM

nevermindthebolex:

isworeidneverliveinwisconsin:

The Letter People, Mr. Tall Teeth.

I’ve finally met people who didn’t go to my school who know what the Letter People are and who understand my story about the Letter People Parade and my mom making my Mr. Tall Teeth costume just a Mr. T sleeping bag belted around my waist.

I really miss these guys.

Remember how Mr. R was a Rubber Banding son of a bitch?

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December162009

Bad Santa

Willie: Is that your underwear?
Kid: Part of it.
Willie: Where the hell's the rest of it? Actually, don't tell me. I don't want to know. What do you want?
Kid: I was thinking I wanted a purple stuffed elephant, not pink. But now I changed my mind.
Willie: Yeah? What?
Kid: Now I don't want an elephant at all. I want a gorilla named Davy for beating up the skateboard kids who pull on my underwear. And he can take his orders from the talking walnut, so it won't be my bad thing.
Willie: Jesus, kid. When I was your age, I didn't need no fucking gorilla. And I wasn't as big as one of your legs. Four kids beat me up one time and I went crying home to my daddy. You know what he did?
Kid: He made it all better?
Willie: No, he kicked my ass. You know why?
Kid: Because you went to the bathroom on mommy's dishes?
Willie: What the fuck? No!
Kid: He tried to teach you not to cry and be a man?
Willie: No. It's because he was a mean, drunk, son of a bitch. And when he wasn't busy busting my ass, he was putting cigarettes out on my neck. The world ain't fair. You've gotta take what you need when you can get it. You've gotta learn to stand up for yourself. You have to stop being a pussy and kick these kids in the balls or something.

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December152009

kaitlynmiller:

This is what unemployment looks like

We got dressed…

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December122009

Matilda

Miss Trunchbull: Can you spell?
Amanda Thripp: Miss Honey taught us how to spell a long word yesterday. We can spell "difficulty".
Miss Trunchbull: You couldn't spell "difficulty" if your life depended on it.
Amanda Thripp: She taught us with a poem.
Miss Trunchbull: A poem? How sweet. What poem would that be?
Amanda Thripp: Mrs. D, Mrs. I...
[everyone in the room except Miss Trunchbull and Miss Honey join in]
Amanda Thripp: [chanting with the rest of the class] Mrs. F-F-I. Mrs. C, Mrs. U., Mrs. L-T-Y!
Miss Trunchbull: WHY ARE ALL THESE WOMEN MARRIED?

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December112009

Camp Nowhere (1994)

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3PM

“It’s a hard grape to grow, as you know. Right? It’s uh, it’s thin-skinned, temperamental, ripens early. It’s, you know, it’s not a survivor like Cabernet, which can just grow anywhere and uh, thrive even when it’s neglected. No, Pinot needs constant care and attention. You know? And in fact it can only grow in these really specific, little, tucked away corners of the world. And, and only the most patient and nurturing of growers can do it, really. Only somebody who really takes the time to understand Pinot’s potential can then coax it into its fullest expression. Then, I mean, oh its flavors, they’re just the most haunting and brilliant and thrilling and subtle and… ancient on the planet.” Paul Giamatti, Sideways (2004)

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1PM